Keeping your primary relationship healthy, positive, supportive and together isn't easy. But it can be done. We expect a lot from our relationships, and the fact is, long term marriage or relationship are difficult to sustain, given the pressures most of us live with.
To make it work, couples need the maturity to realize a long lasting relationship will entail sacrifice, commitment and hard work, but that the payoff of a deeper love and stable, loving home life is well worth the effort.
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Here are contributions on how to strengthen the connection with your partner.
[i]. PRACTICE FORGIVENESS.
Resentment, anger and blame are normal reactions when your loved one does something hurtful. Without forgiveness,however little hurts as well as betrayals can tear a relationship apart.
People who don't forgive often have problems maintaining positive feelings towards their partners, but partners who move toward forgiveness are better able to maintain their connection because they make a conscious decision not to dwell on the mistakes their partner has made.
[ii]. BE REALISTIC.
Every long-term relationship will have its share of disappointments. But learning to look beyond a particular bad patch to see your partner objectively and lovingly can pull you through.
Remembering and nourishing memories of happy times you've had together can help you get past irritation and those times when you're wondering if you want to stay in the relationship.
[iii]. BE HONEST.
Secrets and lies weaken the foundation of any relationship. Ignoring problems (another form of keeping secretes) doesn't make them go away. What is important is respectful, open communication regarding your feelings and dreams.
[iv]. DEVELOP RITUALS.
The way you and your partner say good-bye or hello, or ho9 you celebrate birthdays or anniversaries year after year can help to build a strong connection that
can keep you emotionally committed during the times of conflict.
For example, taking a time to hug or kiss your partner good-bye every morning when you leave for work-- no matter how late or distracted you are-- tells him o
r her that in the grand scheme of things your relationship is a high priority.
[v]. LISTEN ACTIVELY.
"Jumping in and interrupting when your partner is trying to tell you something can make him or her frustrated or discouraged," Says Ms. Maisch. "It's crucial t
o listen more than you speak when you're having a serious discussion."
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